Vampira, also known by her mortal name Mailia Nurmi, passed away yesterday. She was 85 or 86, reports vary.

Vampira discovered what may be the greatest schtick in the history of mankind during the 1950’s. Inspired by the look of Morticia Addams, Vampira added campy humor, double entendres, B-movies, and unbelievable cleavage. This unstoppable combo has often been imitated, never surpassed.

Her most famous performance is as a mute zombie chick who dresses like a vampire in Ed Wood’s opus “Plan 9 from Outer Space,” but what made her a star was her TV Hostessing. Unfortunately footage of her show is incredibly hard to come by, as there are no official recordings.

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Monster-a-day project today I bring you the Yeti, a familiar monster with an unfamiliar history.
The Yeti or Yeh-Teh of Tibet and Nepal have been seen since time immemorial, and appear in several ancient Buddhist works of the region. Many believe the Yeti is an demon ape who converted to Buddhism. They were first seen by westerners in 1951 on Eric Shipton’s ascent of Mt. Everest. The Yeti is described as a large, hairy ape man who walks erect. His fur is usually dark, but sometimes white to blend with the snow.
Yeti fits the description of the believed to be extinct Gigantopithecus a 10 ft tall ape species who lived 100 thousand years ago in China. Many believe the worlds most remote locations still hold Gigantopithecus.
The above image comes from Polish born sculpter-painter-illustrator Stanislav Szulkalski. Szulkalski believed he had discover evidence of a secret history of mankind, in which modern man first appeared in Easter Island where they were subjugated by Yeti. Ever since modern man spread out to populate the world Yeti have been responsible for nearly all the evil and calamity that has befallen us. This pseudoscience he named Zermatism, and the original people The Protong. He wrote a 40 volume fully illustrated encyclopedia on Zermatism. Excerpts of the encyclopedia, and illustrations can be seen here

““Those that saved themselves from drowning, noticed that these creatures also had the fortune to survive, so they named them accordingly, everywhere on this globe in one language, my Protong. The present name Sasquatch was then ‘Sa Z Gladz’, which means ‘Here From Destroyed’ (i.e. the deluged continent)” (p75-6).”

Yeti also cross bred with people to form a race known as Yetisyn, abominations to Szulkalski. Yetisyn were adopted as highest level humans to the postmodern cult, the subgeniuses.

” SubGenii often refer to one another as “Yeti” (or yetynsyni), though this origin story is generally not well known outside of the Church itself. The heritage of the Yeti is said to give SubGenius members access to magical powers, an ability to psychically overpower non-yetisyn and way more hair on their ass than your average half-evolved monkeyboy. “

About a year ago I sold blood and police caution tape to the prop master for what was then called “the latest Coen brothers film”
It’s great to see they really put the blood to good use!
This is an awesome movie. Part Western, part horror, part indie.
The villain is such a bad ass.

I created this for a lexicographer doing a documentary on words called “The Joy of Lex”
This prop was used for a sequence on the word “Bling,” it’s origins, it’s rise, it’s overuse, and it’s rapidly approaching demise.
That was 2 years ago and people are still using the word.
Come on people! I need to finish this thing. Lets make 2008 the fatal year for Bling.

I always love carving funny tombstones for halloween

Dapper Cadaver is proud to offer the bones of a full family of skeletons! All are what we call “natural seamless,” although they’re not real bone. They are finished and painted to appear natural, and have all they’re steel mounting hardware concealed. We’ve provided skeletons to Dexter, National Treasure:Book of Secrets, Bones, and 300.
Here’s the family
“Father” Skeleton - 5′9″
“Mother” Skeleton - 5′6″
Child Skeleton, 8-11 yrs old 4′
Toddler Skeleton 1-3yrs 3′
Infant Skeleton - late term fetal/ newborn 18″
(not pictured) 5 month fetal skeleton- 8″

As part of Monster-a-Day on the Dapper Cadaver Blog, today I bring you “The Scissor-man”

Children need to be taught that actions have consequences and bad behavior will result in trouble, even when the parents are away. Sure, you could tell a kid that if he sucks his thumb his teeth will come in crooked and everyone will tease him, but he’s not going to believe that.

He will believe that a long legged supernatural tailor will come in through the window and cut through the bones of his thumb with giant silver scissor. Plus it’s more fun to say.

These are called Nursery Bogeys. For every naughty behavior there is a monster who exists to punish it. Parents and nannies have relied on nursery bogeys to be scare their kids into good behavior for centuries.

The Scissorman is one of the most famous, featured in the story book and opera Struwwelpeter / Shock Headed Peter.

What he does with the thumb is never explained. But then again neither is what the tooth fairy (a benign nursery bogey) does with those teeth. Which always worried me as a child.

I’m watching you, kiddies

As part of the Dapper Cadaver Blog Monster a day project, today I bring you the Fearsome Critters

Fearsome Critters arouse as tall tales told by American Lumberjacks. Whether they were drunk, trying to amuse each other, playing pranks on rookies and city slickers, or trying to explain odd creatures or phenomenon is debatable. Probably all of the above.

Fearsome critters are notable for their awesome names and rediculess nature. They are as follows-

Humany Beasts

* Agropelter
* Hyampom Hog Bear
* Tote-road Shagamaw
* Whirling Whimpus

Quadrupeds

* Axehandle hound
* Central American Whintosser
* Flittericks
* Funeral Mountain Terrashot
* Gumberoo
* Glawackus
* Gyascutus
* Hugag
* Jackalope
* Sidehill gouger
* Squonk
* Teakettler
* Tripodero
* Wampus cat
* Whangdoodle
* Wapaloosie

Miscellaneousupeds

* Hidebehind
* Snow Wasset

Fish

* Fur-bearing trout
* Goofang

Serpents

* Hodag
* Hoop snake
* Joint snake
* Snoligoster

As part of Dapper Cadaver’s Monster-a-day project I bring you the Bapets. These were a race of female cannibals from the American West who were one of many races of cannibals who terrorized the Native Americans.

Bapets had enormous breasts filled with poisonous milk that could kill instantly. They had a taste for young children, whom they would kidnap, suckle, kill, and eat their dismembered bodies

Bapets lived forever, and could only be killed by obsidian arrows.

Indian mothers used legends of Bapets to scare their youngsters (and presumably husbands) not to be taken in by friendly, attractive strangers.

Bapets have been seen in the American Southwest as recently as 1988.